the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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