Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize