I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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