North Korea, Best Korea!
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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