# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i think i have herpe
just one?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
