The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
