I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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