false alarm. still invincible.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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