i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
