Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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