i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
