Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i need to put some appletini on your dick
It's no shave November. This is our time.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
