yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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