Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
