He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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