Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
