how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
