you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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