i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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