We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
