Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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