He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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