The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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