Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize