you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
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