question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
