ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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