I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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