I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
