we're chasing vodka with high fives
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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