So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
