she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
id be glad to
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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