she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
