Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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