This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
