It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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