I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
