When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
