$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just pee around me
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
