I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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