Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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