Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
