It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Be still, my beating vagina.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
