You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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