is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
