You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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