How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
