I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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