he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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