all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize