he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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