I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You are a genius and a whore.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
