There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
