$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize