omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize