dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
