After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
