Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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