I hate your face
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
