3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
