It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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