is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
